Friday, November 9, 2007

An explanation (or an attempt at one)

I've added my blogroll and haloscan comments, which I prefer to blogger comments. Apologies for deleting the blogger comments, but I did read them. Thank you!

I'm still somewhat saddened by my hasty decision to delete my posts. I was sitting at my computer a few nights ago, trying to come up with an entry that would be entertaining, funny, insightful, sad, edgy, ANYTHING, really. I was probably staring at the computer screen for an hour, sipping ocha and smoking, practically pulling out my hair in a 'blogger's block' induced frustration. When the wave of bitterness hit me, I decided to delete it all. Fuck it, I thought. I'm tired of reading about other people's interesting lives, while I barely have enough time to come up with a new post on a semi regular basis. So, I clicked 'delete this blog', and clicked again on the confirmation. I felt strangely satisfied for a few seconds, much like a teenager deliberatly failing a class to get back at his parents. But after a few drags on a Marlboro Light and a sip on now cold ocha, I realized that my posts were in fact interesting, that I do have something to say, and that my blog is not merely a bunch of photos of hot male celebrities like those of so many gay men. I almost started crying, but there would have been no point. And, like the teenager who fails in school to make his parents angry, the one he is hurting is himself. Blogging has been a source of great enjoyment for me since the spring of 2004. I've enjoyed sharing stories from my life, ranting, describing my travels or sexual experiences in pornographic detail. Most of all, I've enjoiyed reading about your lives, not to mention meeting quite a few of you in person. So, I'm back-- while the old posts and original FMS blog are gone for good, I'm still around, this time with more incentive to write.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for reading, commenting, and becoming my friends over the past several years. I may, in a moment of anger, have deleted my archives, but I'm not throwing in the towel. That's all for now, stay tuned....

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